Everyone talks about how to be successful through hard work and effort. Forget that! I'm going to take a different approach. I'm going to show you how to lose all your hard earned money and fake your own death (I mean destiny), and be successful at it.
Step 1: Be a Sissy-
Being a sissy has nothing to do with physical strength and everything to do with mental strength. I know you want to be successful but you're too afraid to make a commitment to your dream. You're scared to take chances. You're scared to make choices. You want everything to be perfect before you can "take a risk". Yeah, right! That day will come when Hell and my mother's famous spicy hot Sancocho soup freezes (author's note: my money is on Hell freezing over first). Nonetheless, don't do anything until one of the following has occurred: All the stars in the constellation have aligned themselves perfectly, you've spotted a once extinct Dodo bird, or someone absolutely guarantees you that you will not fail. Until one of these things are in place, don't do anything…be a sissy.
Step 2: Listen to Stupid People-
Oh, this is one of my favorite. There are two types of people out there: successful and happy. By successful, I mean someone who has a career and is financially secure. By happy I mean someone who has found their "happy place" and enjoys where they're at in life. The latter has less do with money, and more do to with life style. Knowing this, here's the key: never, I mean NEVER listen to successful or happy people. They'll just make you nauseous with their ideas and strategies for getting what you want out of life. Instead, listen to friends and family members who are either broke or unhappy. That way if you fail, and chances are that you will, you'll at a minimum have them for company. And we know that misery loves company. Also if you fail using their advice, you can always blame it on them (See Rule 9 for more details).
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